Monthly Archives: September 2011

Love like Sport.

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Love like Sport..

I wrote this a while back. I hope you will be inspired.

In every sport especially team sports or even individual sports there is always the challenge at the end of the season. There are a series of matches that lead up to a win for a particular team or individual. Every match that leads up to this is characterized by fierce competition amongst the players and the fans are not left behind either. Everyone is rooting for their team and they brag about what an upset their team will cause on the rivals. For the players they have to put in a lot of effort and the coaches work behind the scenes strategizing on how they can win this season. Even though they won last season’s game they still want to win this season. They have to prove that they are really good, that, they were worthy winners. Far be it from anyone to so much as suggest that their win was by some stroke of luck. Yes, some people may argue that luck may occur in a sporting situation, but others will argue luck is a combination of preparation and opportunity. I would like to think the team prepared itself through practice and keeping in form and an opportunity arose during the game and they took it. People may argue a team was lucky last season but the team wants to prove they weren’t lucky but rather they put in their hard work and it paid off and not forgetting that they simply are, the best. What is it about winning in love that makes people so comfortable with their win?

Let’s rewind time to the most coveted job you ever sought after. Remember? The one that you felt was made for you and you couldn’t imagine not getting it. At first you didn’t even believe in yourself enough to think that you could get it. There were all these doubts in your mind, “I’m not good enough”, “There’s someone else who is better qualified than me”, ”What if I don’t impress the panel” among other things. But that did not stop you. You did your research, you prepared for the interview, you prayed and then you got the job. It was the best news ever. But then they put you on probation and there was this implied demand to prove you were worth it. So, yes you won big time but that was just the beginning. The great task is the one that lay ahead. You had to prove yourself. You had to convince the people who hired you that they made the right decision. So you put in your very best effort to work. Punctuality is your middle name, you go the extra mile, you work late and you deliver on time and you are highly self-motivated. And the bosses they take notice. They realize you are a worker worth your salt and they are glad they took the risk and hired you.

Now think about it in the early stages of seeking out a love interest; is it not similar to fighting to excel in a sport and landing a great job? It all starts with interest and liking. You choose to play this sport because you think it’s pretty cool. You want the job because you know you will like it and you will be good at it. You had been observing this guy/girl and liked what you saw, so you make a move. In all scenarios there are no guarantees. When the coach puts the team together, there are no guarantees that everyone will click and form a formidable force to be reckoned with. In the job hunt, you can’t be sure your application will be looked upon with more favour than the next guy despite your great credentials. And with the girl/guy you like there are no guarantees they will like you even after you’ve spent time hanging around them presenting your best self to them. But still you keep at it. You don’t give up easily because an exceptional person such as yourself recognizes a good thing when they see it. Here is the interesting bit, all these take effort, they are costly and might even be painful (occupational hazards) and it is a risk. But still it stops you not. Even when you have been slightly wounded like the interview you went for and you said something you are sure wasn’t clever and you’re sure you blew it. When they call you for the next interview in spite of that you come back fighting. And when you do things that cause the apple of your eye to recoil and you’re sure they will never speak to you again you humble yourself and go back and apologize. You put yourself at their mercy. And in sports it’s the same thing, you lose one of your matches but you believe in yourselves once more and go back for the next game. And all the while there are no guarantees; they hiring manager may not think you are good enough, the object of your affection may decide you are not worth their time and the team you lost to may humiliate you again. But this does not stop you from doing what you have to, get what you want. Now the difference is with good sports men and workers, once they get what they want, they fight harder still to retain it. But for most warriors in love once they get the prize they hang up their spears and get comfortable. What is wrong with this picture?

You saw a good person and you went for them and you got them. Other people did, go for them too but they chose you. You were prepared and you seized the opportunity when it arose. Now why has it not crossed your mind to prove to others and especially to he/she who chose you that they made the right decision? That you weren’t just lucky you earned your place in their life and you deserve to be there. Why don’t you want to prove that you are worth your salt or your weight in gold? What, ever makes the warriors in love think that in winning their mate they have won it all? Whether in sport or a job or love the first win is great but the subsequent wins are what we should aspire to. Because every time I win my love over by my deeds I am increasing my worth in their eyes. I am making for myself a more lasting place in their hearts. Just like in sport with every win the team gains more loyalty from its fans. I would especially like to put this across to married couples or people in relationships; every day is an opportunity to make your partner fall in love with you even more. And in sports people win shiny cups and medals and at work it’s a higher salary, promotions and more perks but in marriage and relationships it is the love and respect of your partner which is priceless. Is it or is it not worth fighting for? What more can I say, if you’re a lover be a champion for your love.

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Love like Sport.

Standard

 

I wrote this a while back. I hope you will be inspired.

In every sport especially team sports or even individual sports there is always the challenge at the end of the season. There are a series of matches that lead up to a win for a particular team or individual. Every match that leads up to this is characterized by fierce competition amongst the players and the fans are not left behind either. Everyone is rooting for their team and they brag about what an upset their team will cause on the rivals. For the players they have to put in a lot of effort and the coaches work behind the scenes strategizing on how they can win this season. Even though they won last season’s game they still want to win this season. They have to prove that they are really good, that, they were worthy winners. Far be it from anyone to so much as suggest that their win was by some stroke of luck. Yes, some people may argue that luck may occur in a sporting situation, but others will argue luck is a combination of preparation and opportunity. I would like to think the team prepared itself through practice and keeping in form and an opportunity arose during the game and they took it. People may argue a team was lucky last season but the team wants to prove they weren’t lucky but rather they put in their hard work and it paid off and not forgetting that they simply are, the best. What is it about winning in love that makes people so comfortable with their win?

Let’s rewind time to the most coveted job you ever sought after. Remember? The one that you felt was made for you and you couldn’t imagine not getting it. At first you didn’t even believe in yourself enough to think that you could get it. There were all these doubts in your mind, “I’m not good enough”, “There’s someone else who is better qualified than me”, ”What if I don’t impress the panel” among other things. But that did not stop you. You did your research, you prepared for the interview, you prayed and then you got the job. It was the best news ever. But then they put you on probation and there was this implied demand to prove you were worth it. So, yes you won big time but that was just the beginning. The great task is the one that lay ahead. You had to prove yourself. You had to convince the people who hired you that they made the right decision. So you put in your very best effort to work. Punctuality is your middle name, you go the extra mile, you work late and you deliver on time and you are highly self-motivated. And the bosses they take notice. They realize you are a worker worth your salt and they are glad they took the risk and hired you.

Now think about it in the early stages of seeking out a love interest; is it not similar to fighting to excel in a sport and landing a great job? It all starts with interest and liking. You choose to play this sport because you think it’s pretty cool. You want the job because you know you will like it and you will be good at it. You had been observing this guy/girl and liked what you saw, so you make a move. In all scenarios there are no guarantees. When the coach puts the team together, there are no guarantees that everyone will click and form a formidable force to be reckoned with. In the job hunt, you can’t be sure your application will be looked upon with more favour than the next guy despite your great credentials. And with the girl/guy you like there are no guarantees they will like you even after you’ve spent time hanging around them presenting your best self to them. But still you keep at it. You don’t give up easily because an exceptional person such as yourself recognizes a good thing when they see it. Here is the interesting bit, all these take effort, they are costly and might even be painful (occupational hazards) and it is a risk. But still it stops you not. Even when you have been slightly wounded like the interview you went for and you said something you are sure wasn’t clever and you’re sure you blew it. When they call you for the next interview in spite of that you come back fighting. And when you do things that cause the apple of your eye to recoil and you’re sure they will never speak to you again you humble yourself and go back and apologize. You put yourself at their mercy. And in sports it’s the same thing, you lose one of your matches but you believe in yourselves once more and go back for the next game. And all the while there are no guarantees; they hiring manager may not think you are good enough, the object of your affection may decide you are not worth their time and the team you lost to may humiliate you again. But this does not stop you from doing what you have to, get what you want. Now the difference is with good sports men and workers, once they get what they want, they fight harder still to retain it. But for most warriors in love once they get the prize they hang up their spears and get comfortable. What is wrong with this picture?

You saw a good person and you went for them and you got them. Other people did, go for them too but they chose you. You were prepared and you seized the opportunity when it arose. Now why has it not crossed your mind to prove to others and especially to he/she who chose you that they made the right decision? That you weren’t just lucky you earned your place in their life and you deserve to be there. Why don’t you want to prove that you are worth your salt or your weight in gold? What, ever makes the warriors in love think that in winning their mate they have won it all? Whether in sport or a job or love the first win is great but the subsequent wins are what we should aspire to. Because every time I win my love over by my deeds I am increasing my worth in their eyes. I am making for myself a more lasting place in their hearts. Just like in sport with every win the team gains more loyalty from its fans. I would especially like to put this across to married couples or people in relationships; every day is an opportunity to make your partner fall in love with you even more. And in sports people win shiny cups and medals and at work it’s a higher salary, promotions and more perks but in marriage and relationships it is the love and respect of your partner which is priceless. Is it or is it not worth fighting for? What more can I say, if you’re a lover be a champion for your love.

Shrek and Fiona-The real fairy tale

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A couple of weeks ago I was having a sitting with my bible study members and I decided to try out a game I called Social Qs: Questions for great conversation starters. The game was inspired by a New York Times article about how to keep a conversation going at a dinner where not all the guests are well acquainted with each other. One of the questions I asked was “if you could pick a character in a cartoon or animation, who would you like to be?” The answers were diverse, there was the Little Mermaid, Optimus Prime, the chick in Avatar, even Johnny Bravo and when it was my turn I said Fiona in Shrek. People were allowed to ask “why” and other questions. I liked Fiona because I considered her pretty cool especially the Charlie’s Angel’s fight scene. Then I was asked if I would prefer to be Fiona as a princess or as an ogre. Ha! Now that was a hard question but being a bit superficial I decided to go with Fiona as a princess. Then someone pointed out Fiona as a princess was lonely and I thought yes she did find true love as an ogre. So I was in a conundrum, but the conversation terminated at that point. Later on I went home and thought I should have been ok with being Fiona as an ogre because she was truly lovely and cool and she did get her fairy tale ending.

Fast forward to a few days ago and I realized that the story of Shrek and Fiona is as real a fairy tale as there ever was. Women want Prince Charming, that guy who will rescue you from your mundane life, wake you with a kiss, fit some designer slippers on your feet, give you a wedding with a horse and carriage and live with you happily ever after in his palace where you will lack not a thing. And men for years have pretended they don’t buy into that fairy tale vibe but come on! Have you seen Cinderella, Rampunzel, Pocahontas, and Snow White? Those women were gorgeous! Guys agree with me when I say you want the fairy tale princess; a great home maker like Cinderella, hair like Rampunzel, pure heart like Snow White and serenity like Beauty and of course smashing body like Pocahontas who I might add was a bit of a rebel (wink).

But then there is reality. There are no Prince Charmings and gorgeous well behaved Princesses waiting to be woken up by a kiss. But allow me to say this we are all like ogres in some way because no one is perfect. But like in Shrek’s story, we are not beyond redemption. We all still have a shot at love. But there is a catch; you need to be unafraid to admit you are a bit of an ogre. See you can only pretend to be Prince Charming or Cinderella for so long and then you get tired of the facade and there the cookie crumbleth. But if you realise you are an ogre and you admit it to yourself, you just might find another ogre who will love you for who you are. Like Fiona she realised she couldn’t keep hiding who she really was but that did not close the door to love, it opened it.

Fiona did have a choice though she could have settled for the other prince who was a little more easy on the eye but you all remember him he was evil. Who knows what that would have done to Fiona’s heart? That evil could have rubbed off on her. What I can say is the best love you can find is the one that loves you in spite of being a bit of an ogre. The kind of love that goes the extra mile and inspires you to be better everyday and therein you will become truly lovely.

Appreciating me Quirks and all.

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Appreciating me Quirks and all..

When I was in high school, I was once (read, a couple of times) referred to as a coconut. A coconut means someone who is black on the outside and white on the inside. Never mind the fact that if someone was asked to produce a coconut that was black on the outside, they would have as much luck milking a chicken. The reason for this was because I had an “accent” and I had a few mannerisms that were considered foreign.  On the foreign mannerisms, I’m clueless. But the existence of the accent I can’t argue about it. A lot of things are said about people with foreign accents. Some will say a person spotting a foreign accent is fake or lacking in cultural identity, but here is an accent I have had since primary school. It cannot be undone and I wish not to undo it because it is a part of me that I like.

Over the years I have also been made fun of for my walking style. I don’t know what is wrong with it though someone mentioned I have peacock feet. But I remember in primary school my mother encouraged me to walk tall. Those days I used to watch Ally McBeal and there was this character named Neil played by Portia de Rossi and she was gorgeous and she walked tall. I admired her so I was more than willing to take mum’s advice. When I grew older I discovered good posture was a sign of confidence, great for good health and it makes the person more attractive (self-explanatory). On the peacock feet, I dare say I just have that natural swagger.

I have also been dissed for being a lady. For some reason it wasn’t very popular to be one in high school and university. I think it stems from the premise that after women were subjugated for so long by men, they decided it’s time they wore the pants and fought back. But I disagree with this, I love being a lady. I embrace my femininity like it was the best gift that God ever gave to me. I would trade the dull power suits for dresses and skirts, florals and bows. This is because at some point I realized that feminine charm disarms men. If a guy will get off a matatu and take my hand to help me get off, then who knows what more he will do to make me comfortable. So yes call me soft, delicate, whatever but I will keep building my arsenal of feminine charm and be a lady unashamedly.

I have been told I am a little quiet, reserved, shy perhaps. And I will blame it on my mostly melancholic temperament. Some people find it a bit of a bother when I seem so aloof in the midst of activity and that I tend to zone out and my mind wonders into nothingness.  In spite of this, I have been given compliments about my being quiet. Quietness amid semi-chaos cuts a picture of serenity, and there is beauty in serenity. Catch me quiet in a social situation and I will not apologize. At the end of the day, sure it is annoying when people highlight your unique elements and try to make them sound like idiosyncrasies but let it not ruffle your feathers. Instead keep in mind the people who appreciate your uniqueness. Then move a step further and be one of those people, the president of your own fan club if you will because if you love yourself others will too.